Tag Archives: Life

You Are Wrong.

It turns out Rihanna is speaking more about her past issues

with Chris Brown, the guy who made her his own personal punching bag.

I never really connected to Rihanna, but this

statement …. it brought a lump to my throat.

“There were control issues, insecurity. When people are insecure, they become very controlling and they can get very aggressive and in turn abusive. It doesn’t have to be physical. Like, they would say bad stuff to you to make you feel lesser than them, just so they would have control in the relationship. It takes a big toll on your emotions and on your everyday life. It changes you.”

.

All I can say about the above is … it’s true.

If it can happen to me .. if it can happen to a superstar like her,

I am pretty damn sure some young girl, or two, or three,

may be going through the same thing now. Perhaps even those I know?

If I can offer a word of advice to you if you are one of those girls …

.

1) You must talk to someone about it. You must. Or you will not

understand you are in a warped world – you are not seeing right,

even if you think you are. You don’t want to tell your best friends the

truth because you love him and don’t want them to hate him, but you

are wrong.

.

2) You must realise there is only so much you can do to change

someone. If you are crying more than you are happy, you cannot do

anymore. You think that he will see you so unhappy and change for you.

You are wrong. Leave.

.

3) Never sink to their level. You would have changed and be pushed to

the very edge – you may find yourself behaving just as abusively as them.

You cannot help yourself because you are frustrated and think that it is

the only way he will really listen to you. You are wrong. Stop.

And leave.

.

.

Abuse is not just physical.

I don’t regret some of the decisions I have made when it comes to love.

Perhaps though, I regret how I may have behaved, or how I allowed

myself to feel during difficult times.

I forgot that I was stronger than that.

I forgot that I was as classy as I was strong.

But all’s well. The lesson’s learnt.

.

.

And to end on a happier, more hopeful note, just a little reminder …

This is what love should feel like :

Yes this is my picture. These are my friends, who I can't name. But look at them :)

I love seeing my friends in love.

xo

Today is the last day of 2009

Sorry to be so obvious, but yes, it’s the last day of the year.

I am not supposed to be online, but something in me feels I should just write

something for today. I don’t have my fancy pictures etc today, so I’m just

going to let it rip and hope it does not end up as verbal diarrhoea.

I did not want to have another usual New Year’s eve. I think I have had

enough partying in my life and moments of drunkeness whereby I inevitably

become entertainment for my friends and end up becoming a character

from the Fight Club. I didn’t want to just wake up the next morning in all

too familiar circumstances, thinking ‘Oh yeah. This again.’

It’s not the usual refrain of ‘Oh i’m getting older, cannot do this etc’…

because in all honesty, I’ll probably be drinking it up in Penang tonight!

But … it will be different. I will be waking up going

‘Ah…this is different.’

.

Yes, I am in Penang. With one of my dearest friends alive. She had

always told me to come stay with her for a bit, and the pathetic reply

to that recently had been a ONE NIGHT stay sometime in June/July.

How rude. LOL.

Well now I’m here, and we have had our brilliant conversations as usual.

I booked two nights stay at G Hotel simply because I wanted, after a hectic

period of work recently, to just get away. To feel like I lived in a hotel for a

while, near a pool and spa!  Yes, I’m shallow like that.

Kat came to join me for pool time and chill time in the hotel, which I

really like and will probably use again and again. The fact that it’s right

next to the mall is excellent, because I walked around all relaxed and even

caught Avatar 3D again by myself. And Kat tells me we are going to

watch the movie again tmrw. I’m so game for that, I don’t know why.

I think I’m trying to dissect that movie bit by bit to see why it works.

But yes, I think the highlight, as always, are the chats I have with Kat.

.

During our first dinner here we launched into this long conversation

about the nature of our families and why we feel so blessed to be

able to learn about them more, to be aware of our own flaws

and theirs, to have a better appreciation of why we have turned out

the way we have.

Other topics that have gotten us all wide eyed and excited are our own

little excursions into becoming more environmentally-friendly in our

lives, and our relationships, friends, careers …

We spent over and hour the night before just circling town in her car,

having an almost academic discussion into Lauryn Hill’s ‘MTV Unplugged’

sessions and her music and life … our er “theories” were so interesting I

think that deserves a separate posting heh.

.

I swear if there was some quiz about what I do day-to-day, or what

I’ve done lately etc, Kat would kalah in the quiz…but if it was about

what I would do in situations or how I would react or feel, she would win

hands down, she’d probably beat everyone else, really.

She also reminded me about how crazy I have become with work and

the Internet, and how important it is to keep your distance from all that.

I mean, I know of people who say they are hippies, but they

can’t even get to the originality of Kat’s hippie-ness. And she doesn’t

need to dress or act “hippie”, if you know what I mean – it’s in her

attitude and being .. its very earthy but totally unpretentiously so.

She told me to becareful or one day I would be the type who will get

so frustrated with everything I’d escape to some jungle somewhere

and shut myself off from the world forever or something.

Hmm. “Yeah, you would just completely go the opposite way, I tell you”,

after eyeballing me once I told her how my life had become

Internet/Twitter/Wordpress/News/Magazines/Everything-dependent.

She wasn’t too impressed. I wasn’t too impressed with myself either.

Felt like the nerd nerds makes fun of when I told her all this.

And then as if fated, my phone died and once I went to her house,

I couldn’t connect my laptop to her Internet connection. So now I’m

using their ‘dinosaur’ system, as they call it … and

have less of an inclination to be connected. But yes, one last writing

release before 2010, I suppose.

.

.

Kat’s now making final calls about our night on Penang Hill tonight

to usher in the new year.

And now we’re making plans for going into town, Kat & I are on the

hunt for some goodies in antique shops.

Have a brilliant 2010 folks!

What did 2009 mean to you?

I learned a lot this year – that I like new challenges, that I can work

harder than I’ve ever envisioned. And that I love it.

But I know I still have fears.

And some things still remain though… like China, like love, like trying to

be the person I think, I know I can be. That I want to exceed my

expectations of myself.

Perhaps 2010 will be that year.

That I exceed my own expectations, and people’s expectations of me.

That’s so .. Invictus, innit? But it’s true. May we all be less dependent

on the things that don’t matter so much – the drinks, the partying, the

socialising .. the sheer vanity, oneupmanship, keeping up

with the Joneses ..the twittering, the FUCK YOUR LIFE, LOOK AT

MINE!!!, the I-make-more-money than-you-ness.

.

That’s why I’m glad to be here. Kat reminds me of the girl I am, the

one I used to be in college.

And now she’s telling me OKAY COME ON LAYCH LET’S GO NOW.

And so I go!

Goodbye folks, have a good one!

xoxo

The original Anthony Robbins?

I just discovered this quote today,

and it was so wonderful I was intrigued by

the man who said it.

Your greatness is measured by your kindness; your education and intellect by your modesty; your ignorance is betrayed by your suspicions and prejudices, and your real calibre is measured by the consideration and tolerance you have for others.

~  William J. H. Boetcker

Nice.
And then… I found more things he had said.
Like…

If your business keeps you so busy that you have no time for anything else, there must be something wrong, either with you or with your business.
and

That you may retain your self-respect, it is better to displease the people by doing what you know is right, than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong.
and
If you want to know how rich you really are, find out what would be left of you tomorrow if you should lose every dollar you own tonight.
and
What a different world this would be if people would listen to those who know more and not merely try to get something from those who have more.
Of course by this time I was curious beyond belief, so as I am wont
to do …. I spent just a bit of time finding out more about him.
.
.
.
William J. H. Boetcker was an American religious leader
born in Germany, 1873 and became an influential public speaker
in the United States.
He would be such a motivational speaker, eloquent and inspirational,
that many people regarded him as the forerunner of the more
successful life coaches you have today.
The original Tony Robbins, as it were.
He even had his own ‘Rules’ which was incorrectly attributed
to Abraham Lincoln at first!
Below is ‘The Ten Cannots’, written in 1916,
and something which would not be out of place in
our world today. Yes, 93 years later. All of them.

Required reading for all.

The Ten Cannots


You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.

You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.

You cannot help little men by tearing down big men.

You cannot lift the wage earner by pulling down the

wage payer.

You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.

You cannot establish sound security on borrowed money.

You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting

class hatred.

You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than you earn.

You cannot build character and courage by destroying

men’s initiative and independence.

And you cannot help men permanently by doing for them

what they can and should do for themselves

Most excellent indeed. Simple and so elegant.

There are some Ayn Rand-ish arguments there,

but I especially like the last one, which is a different

kind of way

to think about welfare and helping the

poor, downtrodden and groups like the indigenous peoples.

I think it encourages us to explore our opinions

and thoughts a bit more, to think out-of-the-box.

.

.

.

Thank you Mr Boetcker, you would have

the equivalent of your own huge shelf at bookstores

today, I reckon.

.

.

.

And just  a little shout out to some special & unique presents

I got for my recent birthday. I appreciate all that

I got, of course, but these three were so cute and lain dari yang lain

I had to just note them here.

One is this:

I laughed out loud reading this so many times … I reckon

it’s a perfect way to encourage you to read more books

so you “get” the twitterised version of the book.

What they do is basically sum up a book in around 20 tweets…

and the result is a healthy dose of cheeky and hilarity!

Check out one of the ‘tweets’ from Hamlet, for example…

I had a knife to that fat asshole but bitched out. Now he’s alive and still

taking to bed with that beautiful wo-…er, my mother.

LOL!

Or from Beowulf:

@Grendellocks: Bah. That was way too easy. You’re so dead that you

can’t even read this tweet. Fairy.

So cute.

And another present I loved was this little creation:

So cool kan? I like my chocolate milk tan :)

Yipppeee!

And the last one:

A ‘pantun’…

when day is gray and food is dull,

and big migraine is hitting skull,

when need big love & hugs so tight,

when feeling like flimsy kite,

all I need to feel better,

very easy no need courier,

I just call your phone quick and fast,

confirm times 10 will have a blast!

Lol! So cute. I love my presents. I like that as we grow older

and we can afford things ourselves, we like the more

personalised presents, the quirky ones that are kind of tailored

to you.

Thank you to piku, shoelace and kuda, you all made me smile

long time. :)

xo

That’s. Freaking. It.

Today I looked at the clock, 8.15am and thought, I have to sleep

now.

Then I thought, that’s it.

That’s it.

I’m so booking a holiday soon, where I don’t

talk to anyone.

Don’t have any residual work to do.

Don’t have to plan anything.

Buang my phone & laptop sementara.

this seems too long ago a memory

And just have n o t h i n g  in my head.

In all honesty,

even when I was in my great American travels,

I was thinking about work.

Even in the depths of the forest of Sarawak, I was thinking

about work.

These past 2 weeks I have nearly collapsed from work.

But I can’t lie, the money… it’s because of the money.

I don’t know how some people can go on travelling

and galavant here and there without working (and shopping!),

I swear that’s not my life.

It’s a cycle of debt-payment, working like a dog, saving

quite well, and then travel and debt-payment all over again.

I think I just do it in stupendous extremes. Stupendous.

But that’s my life I guess.

It’s probably since I blew my wonderful savings and inheritance

on my Masters that I figured, Oh what the hell. Just live it.

.

Now, these past 2 weeks (no, more actually) have seen

me developing an actual, physical sleeping disorder,

with heart palpitations and all … NICE!

Will be honest with you, I’ve shed some tears in some

mornings because I was so tired. And when I was

so tired but still couldn’t sleep.

But ok. It’ll be worth it.

Because I’d have earned enough money to pay my debts

and have more to spare.

I’d like to start dreaming again.

I haven’t dreamt for a long time, and

that’s

what

disturbs

me

most.

xo

Beware the punctuationless post

my breathing’s still messed up and sometimes

i think i may be having some issues

with anxiety or asthma

but i’m not quite sure

and i don’t want to make a big deal out of nothing

it’s probably my inability to sleep properly these days

which my friends and family are nagging me about

i have received that e-mail 3 times

the one about that indian ceo who died even though

he was perfectly fine and that he just didn’t sleep well

yeah so i have been referred that email three bloody times

by three different people who were aware of my

sleeping problems

ah well

but it could be worse..

just found out my angie is in the hospital due to a bad lung infection

and i’ll be heading out to see her soon the poor baby

and so lately i’ve been feeling so much admiration for my mom,

who has been my green inspiration lately,

no joke, she’s been so awesome and she’s been doing it

under everyone’s noses

check out the fruit skin composting she is experimenting with

smells.... fruity-ish

and if you’ve been wondering why i’ve become more green

these days

i’m going to be involved with this green project very very soon

so tolong support when the time comes?

but you know what …

it wasn’t all about the project.. it happened quite naturally

and being inspired by my mom

and the things happening around me

and maybe cause..

it was actually very …. easy lah.

don’t worry i’m not going to be one of those scary,

militant greenies (as how some people call them) …

i’d rather like to think i’m a learning-as-i-go-along kinda

greenie …. which i hope more people are as well i guess?

this weekend is actually my birthday weekend

but, as if on cue

and just like last year

when i was too busy and didn’t feel it was the ‘right’ time

to celebrate..

i’m working this weekend quietly at home

and am opting to postpone celebrations

Notice i still use the word ‘celebrations’

Don’t worry, you’ll never hear a

i’m too old to celebrate sorta thing from me

i like the passing of years, i love any chance

to meet and be joyful with friends

i like reflecting on what the year has been

So yeah, i do like birthdays, and i do enjoy a drink or two to

go with it.

Just maybe next week, not this week.

it is december after all, any day is a good day to celebrate ;)

don’t worry, no projectile vomiting and all

no crazy slapping or punching people this year (i hope)

let’s just have a laugh.

2009, you’re almost up! wow, what a year    :)

xoxo

And just for your entertainment, here are some LOLs to share.

Mac versus Tom Cruise. Hilarious!

http://www.take180.com/s/1dmr9g

(Sorry tried embedding it but it didn’t work)

Pangs.

(Warning: This is a very very late night spot of rambling

triggered by …. just a picture)

.

Pangs still come once in a while.

Despite the current happiness!

Pangs and longing to live in another city,… now… now… NOW.

New York, I blame it on you.

I need to go n.o. w.

I deliberated on burning my ticket back home to stay in NYC for a while,

y’know. If I had thrown all caution to the wind, and sodded commitments

(some, I still have some), I’d have stayed there for as long as I could have,

hopefully find a job.

That would be quite something, wouldn’t it?

.

Chatting with my good friend Khim about 2 months ago,

we talked about living and working in other cities, (as we are wont

to do).

The lucky girl has had the good..the great fortune of living

and working in KL, Sydney and London … Three Wonderful, Awesome Cities!

And there may be more in store!

Among my friends right now I’d say

both of us share the similar urges and pangs to explore different cities.

And we aren’t talking about a month or two.

“I spenda coupla months there I’ve LIVED there woohoo!”

Well…        n . o .

Not really.

.

For me it’s been KL and London for me, (I don’t count the sojourns in

Singapore and Gibraltar somehow, even if I did feel I lived there

for quite a bit in different times of my life)

To live in a city, to really know its alleys, its history, little quirks and

day-to-day lessons, … that’s quite something else.

The buses (what number and to where), the main streets, the most

popular spots or beaches,

the park you go to when you want to read,

the shop you get

your sandwiches or teas from,

the slightly crazy person on what side of what street ….

these things you learn

when you live in another city.

Travel is not quite the same, despite its obvious wonderfulness.

.

The pang, the immense urge I have right now … it’s all about living in

a big, grand city.

One where I can walk or bike everywhere,

with an old-school or excellent tube/subway … one with a river

(I miss the Thames) … one where I can take long ass walks by myself

and be the happiest person alive just doing that.

.

I’m working on it, I’m working on it.

In a year, if all goes well, I’ll be somewhere else.

I’ll be discovering a new city, God Willing.

Travel just pales in comparison at the moment for me, I guess.

It’s money saving and planning time.

.

For you younger ones who just don’t find the urge or will to move

and explore ….. ah well … one day you may find yourself unable

to move anymore, when you could have … and then what?

I have friends who say they wished they did it when they

had the chance.

Because you can always travel, drink yourself silly wherever

and so on and so forth, but to live in another city -

that’s quite something else.

To know another city, to really breathe it in …. it’s like

nothing else in the world.

 

Seize the opportunities now, if you can.

xo

And just with one glance …

I know I'm supposed to be cool, but this is ridiculous

I know I'm supposed to be cool, but this is ridiculous

 

    … I giggled.

    How ridiculously cute is this little cucumber presentation?

    Out of the blue and so unexpected.

    Just like many things in my life right now.

    And just like that, just with a glance, I 

    was happy.

 

    Additional factors of happiness?

  •     An interviewee who gives you hope, and who makes you smile
  •     A surprise letter from an anonymous blogger I respect. We will be having tea        & cake after I come back from US, how cool is that. 
  •     I listened to The Sundays a lot today

 

      Well, that’s all it takes.

      I only needed three.

      And that cucumber definitely helped.

      Have a good Friday folks.

      xo

 

    Just because it never gets old

    Desiderata

    by Max Ehrmann in 1927

     

     

    Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there

    may be in silence.

     

    As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

     

    Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and

    ignorant; they too have their story.

     

    Avoid loud and aggressive persons; for they are vexations to the spirit.

     

    If you compare yourself with others you may become bitter or vain, for

    always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

     

    Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

     

    Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real

    possession in the changing fortunes of time.

     

    Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery; but

    let this not blind you to what virtue there is.

     

    Be yourself.

     

    Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in

    the face of aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

     

    Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering

    the things of youth.

     

    Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune, but do

    not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of

    fatigue and loneliness.

     

    Beyond a wholesome discipline be gentle with yourself.

     

    You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and

    the stars; you have a right to be here, and whether or

    not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding

    as it should.   *

     

    Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.

     

    And whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion

    of life, be at peace with your soul. With all its shame, drudgery,

    and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

     

    Be cheerful.

     

    Strive to be happy.

     

    *emphasis mine
    Taken at river near Long Banga, Sarawak

    Taken at river near Long Banga, Sarawak