Tag Archives: I-am-Woman

Before it comes …

Because sometimes, you just have to keep on repeating yourself.

Beware : really random, rambling, pointless post coming up.

One to prove I’m alive and not dying in some stress cesspit I care about

this site. Yes, I do care. I care for it like I care for fried chicken.

But like fried chicken, there must be pacing. There must be balance.

Screw this train of baloney that is going absolutely nowhere.

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These past few weeks I have come across story upon interesting story of people

around me - some I know and love, some I know of and am curious about.

More and more I realise that we are all just lost souls swimming in

a fish bowl, that everybody hurts, that happiness, more or less, is just a change

in us, something in our liberties. Yesh, that’s three songs right there,

you laiks?

.

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Sometimes I wish we were all a little more open with each other,

a little less secretive about our experiences. Especially us women.

We have so much to learn from each other, so much lessons to

glean and take comfort from.

The mistakes we make, the lies we tell ourselves, the pain … and then, inevitably..

the healing. The blossoming. The realisation.

And then the acceptance of sadness, or of bliss.

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Oh no, this is not one of my wewomenweKILLyou posts.

I ended that para up there with the word bliss, mind you.

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I’m in a happy place right now, albeit just a bit tired.

But I’ll tell you. I’m 31 one now, feeling neither young nor old,

neither deliriously giddy dengan kegembiraan nor in deep despair.

But it feels like it’s taken me forever to get here. Have somehow

reached a stage where I am pleased with myself because I make my own

happiness, and nobody tweaks those controls for me.

Or rather, I don’t let them anymore. It’s very liberating.

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Around this time five years ago, I was still getting to grips with the end

of a relationship. A little shaken and directionless, my work however came through

for me, somehow leading me to Sri Lanka, Paris, Hong Kong. My instincts also took

me to Central America. Yes I travelled a lot, but I was still pretty clueless.

Around this time two years ago, I was again reeling from the end of another

relationship and was trying to figure out what I ultimately wanted to do and where

I wanted to go.  I think the men in my life played a big part in my

happiness/unhappiness control buttons. But I can’t blame them really. I let them play.

I allowed it to happen. I’m to blame, really.

[Remind me of this diplomatic tone when I'm in my next murderous, bitter moods and I'll call you a liar and
plot your death]


I confess, I guess there’s also a part of me which liked the reeling and

self torture. The blackness, the drowning.

I think if you are never lost, then you’ll never know the sweetness

and delight of knowing you are somehow finding your way.

Fast forward to now.

….

….    …….

……       ……

I still don’t know what I’m doing

most of the time HaHAAAAA.

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.

:)

But I feel more free, lighter.

I’m in a happy place right now, albeit just a bit tired.

There are reasons for these two things.

But I can’t say just yet.

And I would like to … but ah, old habits die hard.

I say I wish we were less secretive, but who am I kidding?

.

I promise you I’ll reveal more soon enough.

I promise you, it’ll be worth it.

I promise you, it will be as pretty as pie.

xo

Real Women, Silly Boys

This is just a short little one from me. I watched this today and

beamed a great big beam. It’s a quick clip of the recent Annual Critics’

Choice Movie Awards in Hollywood. On Friday, Sandra Bullock and

Meryl Streep shared a win for Best Actress – Bullock, for the Blind Side,

and Streep, for Julia and Julia.

I can’t wait to see the Blind Side, cause I really admire Bullock, I think

she is so full of sunshine, and I thought many great things about Julia

and Julia. (which I watched with Kat in Penang – we both got really

inspired with the ‘doing something you really love’ message)

As for the incomparable Streep … well, what can one say? She is a

freaking genius!

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What I love about this clip is that while everyone would probably focus

on the kissing part (it’s SO Britney and Madonna, no?) I actually give

it a few repeats because of the wonderfully charming interplay between

the two actresses.

I’d love to think they just basically showed in that one little minute

what I think what real, strong women are.

Both are instinctively funny, smart … naturally gracious …

and supportive of each other. I think both women have a wicked

sense of humour (and not just based on this brief encounter), indeed

I think I admire women who have an innate confidence that allows

them to be sunny funny. Not in-your-face, showy, pretentious kind of funny,

like they have to put on a comedic show in order to be liked.

The radiant, easy breezy type of funny – the kind your favourite uncle or aunty has,

the kind that makes you roar with laughter and want to hug the person at the same time.

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And just because we are on the subject of laughs, I go off track a bit

and tell you why one of my bestest friends Pin is such a soothing

presence in my life. He is hilarious, sometimes in the most awful,

keju and jagung way ever! (Boy, I haven’t used that term in a while,

have I?)

Yesterday, in very spontaneous fashion, he called me close to midnight

to ask if I’d like to follow him to the night club Rootz. I wouldn’t have

gone on such short notice normally, plus I’d gone out the night before

to the dance extravaganza that is the Heineken Green Room party.

But it’s Pin, and I had not hung out with him like that in a while.

So we go. In the car it’s me, Pin and our friend Munchies.

(Sometimes these full-blooded males pretend to be lovers -but

let’s not get into that, shall we?)

They are talking about some weird, silly, TOKOK kind of subject and

somewhere along the line I tell Munchies “Eh, you never look after your

wife properly lah”, referring to his ‘relationship’ with Pin.

After 3 whole minutes of replying to my comment, there is a little lull before

someone’s mental light bulb comes on.

Pin goes.. “Hey wait a minute. I’M NOT the WIFE, okay?!!”

He’s so touchy, that Wei Pin. As if there’s

anything wrong with being the wife in the relationship.   :P

Nice.

And then later in the car, and still on another stupid subject or the other …

I tell them both: “Oh my God, honestly both of you are like Dumb & Dumber okay?“

And Pin says, without missing a beat: “I CHOPE DUMB!”

………

……

……….     ….       ……

AHAHAHAHAHHAHA

I swear, these boys.

It never gets old.

xo

Daydreaming

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Was supposed to go to 2 art exhibitions, one show,

and one special TAG party today, and I ended up spending

time mostly with …. me.

And Carrie Bradshaw.

The whole damn day.

 

Managed to finally drag myself out of the house at night

for some good company and plenty of laughs :)

I watched so many Sex and The City episodes today

I feel like I’m walking on empoweredsuperwoman air.

I feel like transcribing every single episode because

it’s truly such a bible for women.

 

go with your instincts.   don’t play mind games.

have fun with your life.   be honest.  love your city.

compromise.  communicate.  crash and burn.  

rise from the ashes.

don’t be afraid to get hurt.

and if you hurt, you will always have your friends there

for you.  

but most of all … love.

life is short, love! 

 

 

Kesimpulan peribadi untuk ku, dan resipi untuk

kehidupan yang bermakna..

Don’t linger too much round people who don’t seize the day.

Surround yourself with people who do do do.

Everything.

 

 

And back to SATC, who says TV’s pointless and can’t teach you

anything?

TV gave us Sex in The City, girls. And all those pointers

about sex (oh did it ever), friendship and life. 

Hallelujah to that.

xo

3 Girls & a Forever21 Store

So today we strolled into OneU’s Forever21 store, chatted away,

sang MJ’s Ben and tried things for our heads and hair. 

IMG_0505

We took forever to take this picture, because Duh, I couldn’t

see, and these two b*tches couldn’t direct me very well.

After a very long time though, one (amused) Forever21 staff came

to me, saying ‘Er you can’t take pictures here miss’. But you see,

Forever21, that now we are advertising your store and products.

Result!               May us women stay forever 21 in spirit, Amen to that.

Sex In The City – The Klang Valley Version

 

While I don’t think we were exactly enacting a direct Carrie & Friends 

scenario, I can only say that drinks last night with Sara, KT, Mich

and Charmaine was very nice because it was very PG-13. Yay!

 

They used to say, in the old days, that ladies and gentlemen refrained

from talking about sex, money, politics and religion in public,

because these were sensitive topics and it was not quite polite to

bring them up.

 

Many actually believe that these four topics should still be

off-limits or at least navigated very carefully (the role of host/hostess is key)

during more official events, such as dinner parties etc.

Being a journo, I do not subscribe strictly (*cough*) to this etiquette,

although I must say, I still believe certain questions like

“So, what (religion) do you believe in?” and

“So how much do you make?” are quite frankly, quite rude.

These are very personal subjects.

But I know a lot of people do venture there.

 

chitter chatter cheer

chitter chatter cheer

 

Well anyway, back to last night.

Erm … there were no limits, I guess!

We were talking about sex, of course, and it’s always a riot when women

bring the matter up.

I won’t go into who said what, because they’d roast my behind,

but suffice to say we wondered how “satisfied”

our married girlfriends were in that arena.

We wondered if men were becoming more emasculated.

We wondered about making the effort, or just going with the flow.

We wondered about the nature of pleasure. (Oh boy am I

using euphemisms here) 

If a lackluster sex life was just part and parcel of every marriage

sooner or later.

If, society in this day and age, was so sexed up on any given day and

time now, that what is so in-your-face is just not as appealing as it was in

“the old days”.  

It was the forbidden fruit, right? Perhaps not so anymore.

I’ve been talking to some wives recently.

Always an interesting discussion.

As for single folk like me, well, that’s another topic altogether lah ;)

 

xo