Tag Archives: Family

Every time we head back to Batu Pahat, Johor,

my family looks forward to the food.

But food takes on another dimension in BP.

It is also part of my father’s memories of his youth,

and it makes us feel closer to that part of our family.

This evening, we went for Laksa. Just 10 minutes away

from our family home.

While my mother’s side were more ‘urban’ Penang townfolks and my

maternal grandmother involved in tailoring, dad’s side has dealt with

trades ranging from small tracts of coconut plantations and oil palm,

to house rentals and animal farming.

I remember when I was little I would play with my cousins

in the coconut sheds at the back of my grandparent’s house in

Bagan (a district in BP), and running in the little trails between

its terracotta-coloured soil and the small river by the house.

In the very same area, my dad used to catch fish, crabs and try to

avoid snakes.

I love the idea that we played in the same vicinity, but during different

spans of time.

.

.

Before his generation, dad says, the family was uneducated but pretty

determined business folks.

His grandmother, who he never tires of telling me about, was the

matriarch of the family, the most thrifty

and money-savvy. She would be the one to acquire our relative family wealth

back in those days, eventually owning land and some little businesses.

However, dad says, she always looked at you funny if you took put

more rice on your plate than necessary.

.

I am somewhere between a third and fourth generation Malaysian (dad + mom).

Great grandmother had been born in China, essentially a ‘slave’, or

someone sold as a servant girl for another family.

But somehow, she managed to come here, bring up her own huge family,

and with hard work & penny pinching, set them up comfortably through present day.

My father speaks about her with hush, admiring tones.

I love hearing about my great grandmother .

Just now, eating laksa at a small stall on Jalan Peng Kai,

my dad points out the man dishing out bowl after bowl

of laksa like he was in a speed competition.

His family, like many Batu Pahat natives, sent their children

overseas on the sweat of these small trades.

This man, dad reminds me, sent his children overseas

with these bowls of laksa.

I guess I’m very much like dad – we really admire the ethos of hard work.

Pure busting your balls, sweating your heart out working because

you know no other way.

I have been born lucky, and do not need to work as my

great grandmother did, but I certainly hope to remember

this ethos, this era’s spirit, and keep it in mind throughout

my life.

I also frequently try to remind myself not to complain about work,

and to please please please stop it if I do! Susah though, everyone does it.

I am blessed to have it, and enjoy what I do.

Dad tells me how he used to come to

eat at this laksa stall about three decades ago or so.

It is pretty good laksa. Tasty, but not too cloyingly heavy & over the top.

The kind that leaves you satisfied and not nauseously guilty.

A bowl is RM3.50 (big).

Dad says this stall probably sells hundreds of bowls a day.

Looking at how the man was dishing them out,

I did not doubt this.

.

In many parts of Batu Pahat you still feel a sense of the old

town back then. The streets are still so wide, the shops

still small & buzzing. I can almost imagine my father as a young boy

buying cendol from the stall we love.

Or coming to the famous hawker centre by the Batu Pahat river

at Jln Shahbandar, asking for a bowl of fishball noodle soup

served by the same family through the generations.

I love it that every time I come back I ask my father more and more

questions, and I take more and more pictures.

I want to make sure that I keep these in the collective family memory,

and I guess I feel a certain responsibility because I am the

journalist in the family. I record so many other people’s histories

and I have yet to do my own.

I guess this is what growing older does to you.

Or perhaps I am just super nostalgic that way.

xo


Everytime I come to Batu Pahat, it’s
as if time stops just for a bit.

I have time to watch the fan spin around
as mother talks to Ahma about
greying hair.

I have time to flip the pages of the family album, one at a time, not
rushing, not skimming, not trying
to get to the end of the album
in three minutes.

I have time to daydream as the
incense on the family altar burns.

And most of all
we have time to watch the kids
laugh and play.
Just play.
With practically nothing at all.

Just a wee lil excuse to put many pictures of yumyums here.

Some pictures of the many delightful meals I had in New York City.

Apologies in advance if you’re hungreh right now,

or are on some weird diet.

I’m on a diet too, for the first time ever (2-day failures don’t count),

but that’s for another day.

Korean fried chicken in K-Town NYC. Spicy, droolworthy

Brazilian. Lotsa meat.

Brunch at La Bonbonniere NYC. YUM

Scallops at Tribeca Grill, Robert de Niro's joint

Another brunch. Eggs benedict. Tom's, Brooklyn

Looks a bit gross, but yummmm. At the famous Kat'z Deli!

Un.be.liev.a.bly. good. ramen. IPPUDO, NYC

That’s only … 0.5% of what I ate in NYC.

So, am I now a lil Michelin (wo)man?

Well, I was away for six weeks, but to be honest I actually lost weight in

NYC. Must have been all the walking,

running,

salahbudgetkenajalanlagitothetrainstation.

And then.

I go to London for just a short time … and I think I gained it all

back. Probably the pies. DAMN YOU PIES! And all that beer & stout,

etc etc. And just being happy, I guess.

.

Which leads me to today.

This morning, at a meeting, someone said to me ‘Omg why have you lost

so much weight?’

And I was thinking ‘Exsqueeze me, you joking or what?’ … but the person

is question is really wonderful and lovely so it didn’t keluar macam tu lah.

And then I went home to pick up something for lunch.

And I was like ‘Mom, did I lose weight you think?’

Yeah girl, she said.

Then I start thinking everyone’s hallucinating.

Cause I know what the scales say, dammnit!

And then suddenly …

Mom says slowly:

You know girl, you are so much lovelier, more beautiful and glow-y

when you have more meat on your cheeks.

AWwwwwww??

Really, ma? So…you think I look better fatter? With my puffy cheeks?

Yeah, definitely. You’ve got this glow, when you have those cheeks,

you look so much happier. I love it and stare at you sometimes, wondering

how you get like that, with that glow-y skin and all.

And I didn’t know what to say, it was just such a sweet thing

to come from my mom, who is usually quite icyprincess-y in her assessment

of things and people.

I wish I could tell her. But not now.

So yeah. My momma will love me fat.

Pass me those damn pies!

:)

my breathing’s still messed up and sometimes

i think i may be having some issues

with anxiety or asthma

but i’m not quite sure

and i don’t want to make a big deal out of nothing

it’s probably my inability to sleep properly these days

which my friends and family are nagging me about

i have received that e-mail 3 times

the one about that indian ceo who died even though

he was perfectly fine and that he just didn’t sleep well

yeah so i have been referred that email three bloody times

by three different people who were aware of my

sleeping problems

ah well

but it could be worse..

just found out my angie is in the hospital due to a bad lung infection

and i’ll be heading out to see her soon the poor baby

and so lately i’ve been feeling so much admiration for my mom,

who has been my green inspiration lately,

no joke, she’s been so awesome and she’s been doing it

under everyone’s noses

check out the fruit skin composting she is experimenting with

smells.... fruity-ish

and if you’ve been wondering why i’ve become more green

these days

i’m going to be involved with this green project very very soon

so tolong support when the time comes?

but you know what …

it wasn’t all about the project.. it happened quite naturally

and being inspired by my mom

and the things happening around me

and maybe cause..

it was actually very …. easy lah.

don’t worry i’m not going to be one of those scary,

militant greenies (as how some people call them) …

i’d rather like to think i’m a learning-as-i-go-along kinda

greenie …. which i hope more people are as well i guess?

this weekend is actually my birthday weekend

but, as if on cue

and just like last year

when i was too busy and didn’t feel it was the ‘right’ time

to celebrate..

i’m working this weekend quietly at home

and am opting to postpone celebrations

Notice i still use the word ‘celebrations’

Don’t worry, you’ll never hear a

i’m too old to celebrate sorta thing from me

i like the passing of years, i love any chance

to meet and be joyful with friends

i like reflecting on what the year has been

So yeah, i do like birthdays, and i do enjoy a drink or two to

go with it.

Just maybe next week, not this week.

it is december after all, any day is a good day to celebrate ;)

don’t worry, no projectile vomiting and all

no crazy slapping or punching people this year (i hope)

let’s just have a laugh.

2009, you’re almost up! wow, what a year    :)

xoxo

And just for your entertainment, here are some LOLs to share.

Mac versus Tom Cruise. Hilarious!

http://www.take180.com/s/1dmr9g

(Sorry tried embedding it but it didn’t work)

Sometimes

I remember the times when there were less children

around in Batu Pahat … my big brother and I are the eldest in

our generation and held a pretty big trump card – our father is

‘Tua ku’, the eldest uncle, and a figure quite feared among the

cheeky young ones.

We’d say, our voices low and dark, “Tua ku scold you then you know

These days there are so many children, with new babies popping

every year, that I can’t remember their names.

“What is Uncle A’s son’s name again?”, I find myself having

to ask my brothers or mommy.

It was grandma’s birthday yesterday and we made our

way down to Johor for the festivities.

We got entertained during last night’s massive dinner by

young adorable cousins, one in a complete cheerleading outfit

(she performed in a school show the night before and insisted

on wearing it again), and others who sang karaoke (yes, it’s

in the blood), and others who stomped and screamed on the little

stage at the restaurant, just because they could.

Madness!

And these days, from the feared figure he was, my father has

become some kind of big cuddly Santa Claus who soothes

the younger ones when they sulk or make a fuss.

Some things don’t change though …

My big brother still roughs up my kid brother.

All …. the….freaking …. time.

Morning ritual

Morning ritual

It’s like we turn into little children again in Batu Pahat, all of us.

xox

Youtube puts a warning that it’s NSFM, Not Suitable for

Minors. I’m not gonna lie, I have texted while driving.

After watching this though, and after a major gulp,

I have been suitably reminded that texting while

driving is most definitely Not Safe For Humans.

That bit with the baby …. *shudder*

Forward the url, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8I54mlK0kVw

to your beloved family members, friends

and young ones that you know.

xo

Dialogue overheard:


X: “Where did he go?”

Y: “To get more drinks.”

X: “Huh? But there’s so much beer left, and the bottle of whisky
is untouched.”

Y: “He went to get non-alcoholic drinks lah, coke
and water.”

(Pause)

X: “Okay, times have changed when parties see
the non-alcoholic drinks finishing way faster
than the alcoholic ones.”

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Occasion: Isabelle Chong’s Full Moon Party

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Host: Proud parents Odin & Karen

Date:  Sunday, 19th July 2009

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In attendance: Babies, Parents, Godfathers/mothers,

Family & Loving Friends. (Oh and one cute sumo baby)

 

xo

From Tioman, the ‘diving with dad’ trip  [3rd to 8th July] 

A continuation from Diving 1


When we come up all of us are chatty, especially dad and the mat

sallehs.

It is lunch time, we are given a little box consisting of a sandwich,

apple, boiled egg and a tiny piece of cake. The older mat salleh

who started off the conversation with “So I heard you talking about

Sipadan just now, old timer” is now merrily recounting his

experience at some diving haven called Truc near the Polynesian

Islands, where if one liked wreck diving, boasted of 40 sunken

wartime ships there for your pleasure.

 

I like the fact that at the very start of the excursion everyone probably

thought that my good ol dad, a little big round the middle, was probably

more suited to a lazyboy than a dive trip. Now however, he is in

the centre of some serious dive talk.

Underwater deaths, the bends,

dangers of wreck diving, the quality of dive equipment,

overconfident divers and an assortment of interesting dive stories

leave me and the younger lad wide-eyed and appreciative.

Yeah, never understood the rush to get masters licences and all 

without getting the dives in first.

 

Pix from http://www.malaysia-islands.com

Malang Rocks (Pix from http://www.malaysia-islands.com)

 

 

During the second dive and the rather pretty Malang Rocks, and

about 12 metres down (and going lower) I see that my mask is

filling up with water. Dang you mask! Okay, it’s mask clearing time,

and I tap Francis’ shoulder nearby, just in case I screw up.

I don’t panic underwater 

but I really do hate clearing masks. My eyes!

Somehow when I know I’m supposed to blow air from my nose to

clear the mask I blow more air from mouth (so they tell me) and I

hold the mask wrong and more often than not I take

3 takes to clear the damn thing.

Anyhow at this time I accomplish it fairly quickly

(shame factor), it’s done, and we go on our way.

We do quite a bit of going under rocks/cave-ish spots and luckily I

don’t bump my tank or head – though I get a scratch or two on my

thigh after all our dives. Dad is fine and well happy.

 

When we come up and proceed to head off it rains again, and it’s no

small-fry rain.

It pours like it had been holding out for us all this time.

 

I can’t describe how beautiful it is, and how awesome at the same

time.

No picture will justify it. All I can do is stare, not a word leaves

my lips for a long time.

We get towels from the crew to wrap up, but it is cold. All round us

is the rain hitting the sea, looking like a million diamond droplets

hovering just an inch above the water. The grey clouds, threatening,

but not alarmingly so, are spread evenly everywhere you look. The

wind howls and soon we see nothing but the rain’s mist all around

our little boat. It is such an amazing thing.

It seems to take forever to get back to land, and at one point the rain

gets so heavy everyone at the front takes shelter (and wrapped with

extra towels) at the back, all drenched and shivering. Francis laughs

at me because I guess I seem thoroughly happy by the experience.

The roaring rain and the sea, how more close to nature can one

get? (Wait don’t answer :p)

As we finally get to the jetty and make our way (run) to the dive

centre, I reflect on how relaxed I feel,

and how glad I am to see my old man so content and pleased with

the day’s proceedings.

“It went very well, I feel so relaxed,” he said, adding that he hoped

for a few more dives in the future before he revisited Sipadan.

I understand why now dad always wanted me to dive with him, and I

will continue to dive with him for as long as he can.

 

“]Around Malang Rocks  [Pix from http://www.malaysia-islands.com]

Around Malang Rocks [Pix from http://www.malaysia-islands.com

 

 

He may never get to dive with his grandchildren, but I guess it will be

enough for me to teach my kids in the future, and make this a family

tradition. Hopefully my brothers (hint, hint) will also eventually join

us on these dive trips.

And for as long as it stays this way, Tioman island will be one

place we will come back again and again as the place my family got

our sunburns, dive education and where my dad said proudly “Yes

that is my girl, and she dives too.”

 

Highly recommended for soppy folks like moi, if you can’t already tell.

xo

From Tioman, the ‘diving with dad’ trip  [3rd to 8th July] 

[Continuation from Diving with Daddy]


I shout for dad, and mom says he is already out, looking for food.

Surprise, surprise.

When he comes back (with nasi lemak and some noodles) I ask if

the rain is going to be a problem. It looks like it will rain all day, I say.

“Bah humbug”, says dad. (Or well, he says something to that

effect anyway) Rain is nothing, and will clear by the time we reach

the dive spots, he says.

As I will not argue with a diving and Tioman seasoner, we make

our way with umbrellas to the dive centre, which is about

10 minutes walk away.

As we approach I see that the dive staff and our group (consisting

of 7 people, excluding Francis) are ready to go.

So we have a quick dive briefing about our trip to Chebeh Island and

the Malang Rocks, check out equipment and head to the jetty.

 

Old picture in Tioman - Don't laugh leh

Old picture in Tioman - Don't laugh leh

 

The rain, not too heavy but not light too, continues.

It is about 40 minutes to Chebeh Island. In the group there is me

and dad, two older mat salleh dudes (who don’t know each other

but with their experience, becomes each other’s dive buddies,

one English boy who can’t be more than 19, who will buddy with

Francis, and a Chinese couple who seems to be just beginning

and will be led by another dive master.

Dad is all excited and super chatty, and he immediately launches

into spirited talk with the younger Mat Salleh about diving in Sipadan,

the barracudas etc, the history (wah lau?) of Tioman’s corals

(Used to be good, then shite, then now growing better again).

 

He also excitedly points out that I am his daughter, and that I dive too.

I play the part of the dutiful daughter, smiling and acknowledging

his pride, enjoying the ocean’s spray and the rain on my face.

We arrive at Chebeh, and true enough, the rain has abated, though

the sun is refusing to make an appearance.

No matter, it’s time to dive.

As we all huddle at the back to put on our gear, dad seems to make

a little fuss around me – do this, check that, make sure this,

tighten that – but I do not mind.

The other Mat Salleh smiles and says “Your daughter eh? I’m like

that with my sons as well. Always listen to dad!”, much to the

entire group’s amusement.

I reply with “Yes, I listen to daddy, he has been diving forever,”

with a big smile.

And then we all go down, the pair of MatSals on their own, the

beginners, and then us four.

 

 

Underwater at Chebeh - Pix from www.malaysia-islands.com

Underwater at Chebeh - Pix from www.malaysia-islands.com

 

It is a thrill, as usual!

At first I wonder why dad keeps on disappearing from my sight but

then I realise he is right behind me, content to watch out from me

from the back. And so I follow Francis’ lead and take in the

underwater scenery. I realise how much I miss the serenity of diving.

 

 

To be continued… More of Letters from Tioman (just two more left)